An hour flight to Sing,
Spotted! Mr. J and Le SoccerChick picking out footwear at a snazzy shopping plaza. J be nimble, J be quick, J better get them shoes by this week! XOXO?
Yes!! bloggers and bloggerettes! I recently went on a “shopping assignment” with Jaryn, owner of JomJaryn (You know mostly girly girl stuff…insert BIG sigh here). With a spring in our steps (and a gaping hole to my wallet... insert BIGGER sigh here) we manage to search for this cute pair of shoes from VINCCI. (I was like OWE-EM-GEE!!! Those are just so cute!....insert BIGGEST sigh here)
Accompanied with a meal (A girl’s gotta’ eat) at Dave's Deli (watch the calories girls~!) we ended the day with some of my manhood still intact! However it was all jolly good fun!
P.S: Jaryn I owe you meals!!
Yeah I know it’s crazy but I think it’s worth a shot. But in my defense I was bored to I got the NERF gun.
I would like to call out all Malaysian of NERF guns owners to step up and be counted. For the rest of you who don’t know what NERF is please go the link I provided (TO THE SMARTASS: yeah I know it’s been around like forever but please give people a chance) Maybe someday Malaysia might have their very first NERF war.
Paintball hurt? , so why don’t you convert?
So here is the first Malaysian headcount (i think). My friend pandababyking and I. Here is our arsenal. If you are interested in getting a NERF gun in Malaysia please visit your local Toys “R” Us store near you. If there is another source please advice in the comment section.
The Firefly
The Maverick
After my little signpost fiasco, I felt a certain connection to all signposts in service at our streets. Ever vigilant and unyielding, they have stood tough against all odds. Driving down Dickens Street I spotted one of their fellow comrades. Although still standing tall, I couldn’t understand what it was trying to tell me.
Mike Myers returns with more coughing and tummy cramps due to laughing. The Love Guru finally hits Malaysian shores (We Malaysian just have to work on our timing...seriously). Anyway great show, bring your inhalers if you are asthmatic and get ready for good laughs.
I am a LEFTY and I am proud of it. It’s particularly tough to be born a lefty especially in Asian countries where every single thing is made for the right hand. From the position of the door knob to certain phone models (which one I will not say) almost anything is made to suit the right-handers (RH). You may argue that the numbers of the RH outclass the left-handers (LH) and I will single handedly (probably my left hand) agree.
Of course! This is not my argument here today. I don’t mind RH takes the majority. However you cannot deny the fact that we LH have been taking a terrible beating from you RH. You beat our young when he or she picks up a pen or pencil with the left hand, handshake are for the RH only, a soldier salutes his commanding officer with their right hand finally you label a person two left feet when he or she has difficulties in dancing the list goes on and on.
Why we LH have to take this sort of abuse? How are we a threat to you RH? Why are LH labeled as inferior when compared to RH? We LH have kept silent and took all the all you RH’s abuse. I have witnessed families that punish their young for being natural-born LH. It’s sad and infuriating scene. There is a common and dumb ethic that most Asian families have to abide too, left hands are used to clean your ass therefore it is polite shake hands using your right hand. WTF is that....ever heard of soap?? And the saying two left feet?? Does this mean that if I have two right feet I am the best dancer in the world? I don’t know why not you RH tell me!
So anyway my message to today is, leave us left-lefthanders be!!
A fellow Blogger and a good friend of mine, Calvin Aw will be sharing his artistic expressions and skills (trust me they are good). Brace yourself for the dark arts!! He's larger than life, he's bad and he's probably got a pint of Kilkenny ready. The underworld is not so bad; you might want to make a visit.
You’ve probably watched it on TV or heard it from the news, it’s finally over! As the 2008 Olympic ends, China can proudly say that they hosted the games. With a stunning opening and closing ceremony, they manage to show the world that there are millions of rice eating slant-eye people in the world. There had to be like millions of participants at the birds nest at the time. 
Shout out to the citizens of China, well done and don’t stop breeding. I've included a LINK to the official website to the 2008 Olympics if you want to check out the pictures.
I knew something was fishy about that logo!!!
Found a local ‘Irish Bar’ nestled around the shop lots of QueensBay Mall Penang. The place has every possible thing that a Malaysian man can picture what a bar in Ireland will look like. From awesome vintage-looking posters to randomly placed ‘bar decorations’ (If that what it’s called) around the place, O’Reily’s a good place to start if you’re looking for something to drink in the area. A pint of Kilkenny there is ultra smooth (I don’t know why) and superb to the very last drop. This is probably free advertisement for them I know but will be hoping for a free pint.
Here is a map to the place hope to see you there!
One of the awesome posters that they have there!!
After witnessing China’s badminton ace giving ours a good ass kicking, me mates and I headed out to get some grub and catch a footie match or two. It was game night, all the tables were loaded and the big clubs were on. Accustomed to the awful service we get down there, we managed to rope-in a waiter to receive our orders.
Fancied some tandoori chicken, I got me a set! Little did I know, the tandoori chicken wasn’t going down without a fight; As a last ditch effort, the chick left one of its bones at the back of my throat. Hurts like hell right now but I still won the fight. To honor that little chicken that is soon to come out the other way, I dedicate this post to it and all it’s mates that have already gone to that chicken coop in the sky. 
As the Beijing Olympics draws to the climax of the sporting events, many have much to say about various events that are taking of have taken part. Commenting on how that volleyball player should take that dive or how that table tennis player should serve, we see there is a sudden surge of sports critics rising. It’s amazing to see them dishing out all sorts of crap about a sport they never laid eyes on before “Oh he should spin the other way!” or “WTF?? Why she served it like that”. 
Anyway talking about sports, the new team I am supporting Hull City just won their first match!!! Haha… in your face Fulham…. I still don’t know the guy that scored the goal. However winning is winning no matter what the circumstances. Hope they have a club song I can sing too….
What does a man do when he needs to exfoliate his manly parts? No ordinary girly girl loofah is going to cut it!!! What he needs is an ultra manly testosterone packed, masculine looking "shower tool" which still looks like a loofah (oh~~! the manliness!!!!) The label AXE is a male grooming product that has been around since 1983. Famous for its dirty yet entertaining commercials, (it’s for the guys what’d you expect….) AXE has managed to entice guys to buy just to get laid? Anyway GUYS check out the rest AXE commercials on Youtube I got one right here for the readers as for the GIRLS please dont hate us.
NOTE TO READERS: Its still a F*cking loofah!!!
Honestly i don't really know much about the guy but i do remember him from oceans 11 through 13 so Mac if you reading this i hope you are in that big casino in the sky. For the full story click the link.
Seriously what would we do without abbreviations?
A hole in the heart (not the medical condition) is a splendid interpretation of mankind’s greed. Remember the famous phrase “The world can feed our need, but not feed our greed”? It horribly depicts man’s endless gluttony of the excess. A negative image no doubt, however it may not necessary be all true. Personally I portray the sin of greed as a driving force which propels mankind towards achievement that pushes all boundaries of the very definition of success. Grasping victory sure is great but what comes after that? Do I just reside just on one conquest?
Today’s post is titled “A Hole in the Heart” is about making a positive shift towards one of the seven deadly sins. I welcome all comments if there are any.
Failing to hold it at a classier place, PSDC (Penang Skills Development Centre) still manages to pull a half pass sh*t of a graduation ceremony out of their asses. Mixed with so many feelings the gang is back in the auditorium again ready to rock the place one last time. So stand tall and stand proud batch 14 its your time to shine! After-graduation party anyone?
Ah the good old days…… The perfectly spaced keypad that suits any thumb size….. The elegant lines running around the ever clear monochromatic display…. Brings a tear to my eye when I recall the glory days of the monophonic ring tones…..the notorious ever-growing snake that never seems to stop growing….. The millions of casing options to suit your clothing….. It’s a more of a love affair then just a cell phone
I’m sure the readers today have owned at least one of these babies before. It is one the toughest phones back then and that can still rival most of the current models today. Almost indestructible, these phones have been going strong for some 5-6 years of punishment for the user. 
Today’s post is to reflect and honor this noble cell phone and the splendid years of service it has provided us. You guys and girls may share some of your 3310 experience in the comment section.
Yes!!! Yes!!! i know its late....
The late Heath Ledger gave a stunning performance. His performance struck a chord in me; never another actor will capture the essence of The Joker like him (but later realized I better smile before he cuts my face). The irony of the movie is that he has to die in order to achieve immortality. Joining the ranks of the famous Bruce Lee and Marilyn Monroe, his work will forever be imprinted in our hearts. I hope you are in a better place man.
As for the Batman, I was rather disappointed when he came into the scene. A voice that supposedly to conceal Bruce Wayne’s sounded like Batman had to swallow a pound of sand before putting on the his Batsuit.
A fellow bloggerette and a good friend of mine, Jaryn (or Charky….Which ever you prefer) will be blowing our minds with her new blog called JomJaryn. Hope you all will check it out and have fun! Tell her Mr. J sent you... please???
Launched Monday (July 28 2008) Cuil (pronounced as cool) the new ultra modern search engine is set up ready to take on search engine titan Google. Developed and run by the husband-and-wife team of Stanford professor Tom Costello and former Google search architect Anna Patterson, it is claimed to be better and faster and in hopes to give Google a run for its money. I haven't really tinkered with the thing yet, however if you have views and comments feel free to post. I linked a couple of articles about the new search engine from Search Engine Land and WebWare . All the 'Cuil' kids are doing it so why don't you?
Money does not discriminate. It matters not your skin color, race or cultural background; everybody and anybody can have money. WHY? You walk across the street you see a young chap with a toilet bowl for a face driving one of the most expensive cars and the sweetest little girl paying for medication for her sick mother using the money she begged the other night. So we all should all learn from our friend money and stop racism and discrimination towards others.
Money is a good friend to have, a better friend when you to receive and the best friend when you need it. Some kill to get money, some actually try to get rid of money and others do not have a clue. Hotter than Brad Pitt and sexier than Jessica Alba, money has the largest fan base around the world right after religion. So we should all learn from our friend money and never trump money over religion.
Money is just a family name. The big bros Pound and Dollar with their distant cousin Yen and Euro (just to name a few) loved a game of catch. They would play hours sometimes they skip lunch and dinner. They didn’t just play catch with any normal ball, it was a special ball called the world economy. There was time when that special ball went missing, But the family worked together to find their favorite ball back. So we should all learn from our friend money that family is important.
This is all for now, please feel free to post the ideals that money thought you and what should we learn from money
Ever came across a situation when you are standing outside the loo waiting for that person to finish god knows what he/she is doing. Then some smart ass walks along and asked you “Are you waiting?” or “Is someone in there?”. Standing there dumbfounded one can only smile politely and acknowledge an awfully ridiculous question like that. You could tell him/her "No buddy this is just a daredevil game that you like to play; normallly i'll wait till the very last second to go take a piss." As the saying goes ignorance is bliss, and buddy you better wise up before I give you the bliss of my piss!
Remember the time when you were in school (I don’t care which one) that your teacher would tell you “Children remember! There is no such thing as a stupid question” Well on this rant on ‘Things to do before I die:’ I will be dispelling this huge misconception and giving a few pointers on how to exploit it. I am not sure if your teacher would say this to you, but if we could ask him/her any question we like, how about taking your pants off? (You didn’t get this from me kids!) This is just part 1 of my rant so I hope you stay tuned for more (I also don’t want to give a long lecture about it). Feel free to post any stupid questions that you might have been asked.
Sorry haven’t been working hard on getting the next post out (yeah I am sorry I have a life) Anyway, I have a valid reason for the delay. I was preoccupied with lots of shooting, chucking grenades, planting C4s and swearing more then usual. I’ve somehow got bitten by the Counter Strike bug (yet again), been sitting down all day trying to get that SOB shot me in the head the last round. For those of you live under a rock, the game Counter Strike is a game of police and thieves on steroids. It is mostly a game for the HARDCORE GAMER and sore losers (mostly Malaysians and Singaporeans)
The other dynamic duo is back with more swearing, weed, nudity, typical (but comical) stereotypes, racial overtones (still comical), weed and the compulsive need to get EF-ing high (Did I mentioned weed?). I will leave it here for this post, readers you MUST check out the movie.
Spoiler for the viewers: Amsterdam is the place to be to get a happy (high) ending
Live from Rant “R” Us News
Current studies have shown that most bloggers need reader’s comments and support to carry on blogging (IF YOUR READING THIS, THIS MEANS YOU!!) lol
Researchers have discovered that most GERMs come from GERMany
Galileo Galilee still baffled why both his names sound the same
The National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) are filing a lawsuit against the National Anal S*x Association (NASA) for copyright infringement
News and more, on Rant “R” Us News prime time
On this edition of “Things to do before I die” I am going to politely request certain items to bring to my funeral (Better get this down on paper people!)
For more information get your cellphones
Type SMS(space)THINGSTOBRINGFORJ’SFUNERAL
And send to 32333 (a RM0.50 charge is required for each SMS)
Today’s post is dedicated to Jackie chan. He inspired me to show off my drunken Kung Fu style. Like any legendary Kung Fu master I will not reveal my secret moves. However I will try my best to illustrate my position and the aftermath. 
On with the secret move, like any drunken kung fu style the basic idea is to get pissed drunk. 
I some how Kung Fu-ed this sign post.
The aftermath
A great piece of engineering from the Israeli counter-terrorist forces I have to say. You can grab a peek around corners and shoot em’ up if you feel like it. Now the business end of the gun is ingeniously disguise as a cute little cuddly cat doll, it maximizes it lethality (By confusing cats that are trained as a sniper for the terrorist forces in Afghanistan?... Come on!! ).
So my advice to all those cat lovers there if it don’t come purring don’t come patting. Word of advice to the host.....why the hell are you whispering????!!!
I am starting a new column called RRU (Rants “R” Us) Product Review. Hope my fellow readers, bloggers and bloggerettes try the thing if the trial packs are available at your area. So once you've tried it, don’t be a cheapskate and buy the damn thing because really works. On this edition of the review i will be looking at a uber cool product called Cyber Clean. It is an alternative cleaning solution which is simply looks like a blob of green mucus (i swear~!)
Live from Rant “R” Us News
An innocent notebook suffering from amnesia discovers that she had been reformatted. Police reports later confirmed the identities of two culprits that were involved. Upon further inspection, the police and cooperation with the Crime Scene Investigation Unit suspect that 2 disc may have been forcefully inserted into her side body. When interviewed, the notebook stated that she could only remember her keys being pressed and constantly turning on and off.
This is Rant “R” Us New on prime time
On this edition of "Things to do before i die" i am going to say it loud and say it proud. I did not know sh*t about reformatting the PC or notebooks. There! I said it. I am sure tons of you people out there don’t even have a clue too (so don’t judge me!!!... its hurts my feelings) Alright summing up.....
Reformatting is much much easier because she is like.no.other
